Book of Thoughts

I went to one of the local barbershops and sat there in one of the available uncomfortable chairs waiting for my turn. With my receding hairline and greying hair, the experience is more than a chore as one could imagine. The past visit also has been rough with the stylist - the professional term used these days. No thanks. I prefer to stick to referring them as barbers as my previous one was less-than-professional making some unremarkable but laughable jokes about my precious hairline; "Gone with the wind, ah sir; shall I use scissors or a blower to finish", still echoes in my mind. So I switched to a newly opened aka cheaper option.     The rhythmic metal blades of the scissors and the smell of wet, sheared hair were already making me sleepy. "Sir..”, initially gentle voice of my barber broke my slumber party. "Sir", this time the pitch had risen considerably, “SIR, come... come..”. The voice hastened me with a tinge of annoyance only a Sunda...

When questioned by a dear one on why I am angry, be sure to hear those famous words, “I am not angry”, with a noticeable spit spray. Receiving feedback is a crucial change agent when mutual trust and respect is at the heart of any conversation. Trust and Respect are like the air we breathe. If we take it away from a discussion, that is all people can think about.   Three observable symptoms when someone is still raw at giving or receiving feedback: • Controlling - forcing views or dominating conversations; methods include interjecting, using directive questions, changing subjects, overstating facts, speaking in absolutes. • Labelling - stereotyping ideas  to dismiss under a general category • Attacking - moving from winning an argument to making the person suffer; tactics include belittling and threatening.   So, how to receive feedback?  Take a deep breath. Make relaxed eye contact with a barely noticeable smile. Lean forward and listen activel...

Build a life you don’t need a vacation from and remember Bushido's code "keep death in mind at all times"

Trees communicate not just above ground, but underground through roots and microbes too: says research from Suzanne Simard.  Likewise, humans do not just communicate externally, but internal communions of the heart is equally important.  

People often confuse the question of who you are with where you are from or what you do for a living. A closer cousin to the original question is how you feel about yourself today or what drives you at the moment to do everything you choose to. This is where the often sidelined but useful - feeling aspects - come in to rescue rather than over-reliance on flowery descriptions of our whereabouts or occupations, etc. The answer, though based on the feeling, need to be placed in the right setting, context and in a conversational tone rather than a monologue. Introspection and journaling after a systematic contemplation will help improve sensitivity to verbalize the feeling. In time, the vocabulary and description of the feeling will also improve from a first-person narrative to a material useful for carrying out the day-to-day conversations more eloquently.  

Searching is of two kinds : one to find something that needs to be attained and the other is for ensuring it is not found.   Attaining a state or an object that is sought or retrieved.   Combing a place or an entity that has to be secured.